Television Archives

New York, September 1-4, 2006 – Labor Day was a lucky holiday for Jessica Simpson fans. Tourists spending the long weekend in New York City got to see the pop singer perform twice, for free – first on Friday morning’s Today show in Rockefeller Plaza, and again at Monday’s taping of the CBS Early Show.

On both occasions, between squawking through her bruised vocal cord, J. Simp drank some unidentified brown liquid on orders from her voice coach. On Monday at CBS, she really seemed to be having respiratory problems, sniffling and coughing the entire time, and noticeably hoarse when speaking. At one point, Jessica had such a violent coughing fit that we thought she might vomit; but she did not. She also inhaled something from a homemade bong-like deivce made out of a funnel on top of a drinking cup.

Between songs, J. Simp apologized to the audience for her raspy voice, and one Labor Day moment we’ll always cherish was when she announced to the smaller-than-usual crowd, “I’ll be right back. I have to pick my nose.”

The smartest dumb blonde in show business arrived an hour late for the CBS taping, but thrilled fans by signing autographs for at least twenty minutes on her way out.

New York, August 31, 2006 – Jennifer Lopez's skullcap was the only questionable fashion choice at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards; a shocking development for a show that in the past has featured Britney Spears in bondage gear and Snoop Dogg walking women on leashes.

The massive red carpet snaking through the Rockefeller Center complex had retail stores closed for business, but open for private parties where lucky attendees got close-up looks at the world’s biggest musical stars.

R&B singer Kelis told us that she’s written a cookbook due out early next year; it does not contain any milkshake recipes. MTV reality-show star Jason Wahler said, “I don’t actually watch MTV at all. I think Laguna Beach and The Hills suck”. (He appears on both shows.)

Backstage in the press room, we explained to a mystified colleague that without caked-on makeup and dirty hair, actor Jared Leto, lead singer of the group 30 Seconds To Mars, is actually quite attractive. However, we couldn’t explain Leto’s arrogance during the Q&A session. A sample:

Reporter A: “Jared, you just worked with Lindsay Lohan on a movie...”

Leto: [Interrupting] “Next question.”

Reporter B: “Jared, can you tell me about the first time you put on makeup? How did that make you feel?”

Leto: “Yeah. I put lipstick on when I was about 4 or 5 and I found my inner self. I’m working on a boob job. I have to go to Tijuana in about a month to cut the rest off. Next question.”

Reporter C: “Can you sing us your favorite Beatles song?” [Following a question about playing Mark David Chapman, John Lennon’s murderer, in a movie.]

Leto: “Where you from?”

Reporter C: "Amsterdam".

Leto: “Don’t embarrass your country.”

There was (finally) some excitement toward the end of the show, when someone crashed the stage. Our onstage source gave us this account of the incident “The guy went up on stage while J. Lo was presenting the award, and he grabbed the mic from the band and started spouting off ‘Soylent Green’ kind of bulls--t. And he started talking about his Web site, and how MTV didn’t give him a show that he was supposed to have.” Photographer Patrick McMullan has photos of the crasher here.

Best pop video winner Pink has become an old married lady; she said that after the show, instead of hitting the after parties she was heading home to walk her dogs.

Of the numerous VMA parties that we hit, Virgin Mobile’s was a standout. The Rapture performed songs off their soon-to-be-released new album, Pieces Of The People We Love, and Liv Tyler stepped off the mommy track to catch husband Royston Langdon’s set with his new band Arckid. At 2:30 A.M., host Cee-Lo of Gnarls Barkley jumped up on stage and did a surprise performance, including his hit, Crazy.

Los Angeles, August 27, 2006 – Although Simon Cowell mightily deserves to be criticized, in all fairness, there is a very good argument in favor of his leaving his shirt unbuttoned at Sunday’s Emmy Awards ceremony. It was 105° Fahrenheit on the red carpet. Literally. While it was a lovely Southern California day, we were baking under the sun, and someone actually pulled out a thermometer and that was the toasty reading outside The Shrine Auditorium. While we felt for the pregnant Heidi Klum, our hearts went out to Ryan Seacrest, whose makeup must have been running rivers.

People started to wonder if the ubiquitous Eva Longoria would possibly miss a red carpet opportunity, but the Desperate Housewives star showed up late, after most of the press had headed inside. Maybe her boyfriend Tony Parker has to drive more slowly with that broken index finger.

We were devastated not to have encountered Tori Spelling, or her mom, Candy; a catfight would have brightened up the evening enormously. (Was Candy crying from grief during the tribute to her late husband Aaron Spelling, or was she crying because Joan Collins, Heather Locklear and Stephen Collins delivered their eulogies with all of the woodenness that reading from a Teleprompter can unleash?)

Mariska Hargitay looked amazingly slim exactly two months after giving birth to son August; he’s “awesome”, she told us. Host Conan O’Brien was reasonably funny, despite his unfortunately timed opening spiel. We weren’t watching the ceremony closely enough to notice that The Office’s Mindy Kaling had a minor wardrobe malfunction. (Possibly, we had fallen asleep.)

Los Angeles, August 20 – No one was injured, but Hollywood hostilities heated up the red carpet at Sunday’s Teen Choice Awards. Nick Lachey’s acceptance speech wasn’t his only “awkward moment” at the awards. Earlier, as Nick exited a photo booth, he ran into his ex-father-in-law, Joe Simpson. Nick ducked back inside the booth until papa Joe was safely out of the way.

Ashley Olsen was posing for photographers when Jessica Alba came along. Alba waited for a moment, then shot Olsen a dirty look, walked around her, and entered the Gibson Amphitheater. Alba was clearly not going to wait; her reps tried to calm the disappointed photographers with promises to bring her back - after she presented the evening’s second award.

But perhaps the most astonishing moment was when the show’s host, Jessica Simpson, who was there early, left the Amphitheater and walked the red carpet in reverse direction. While she was posing and smiling for the cameras, along came starlet Kristin Cavallari, who had a brief fling with Simpson’s ex, Nick Lachey, and who was Simpson’s rival for a role in the movie Dallas. Cavallari simply turned on her heel and stalked off in the opposite direction, as everyone stared in open-mouthed amazement.

Britney Spears did not walk the carpet, but she did introduce her husband, Kevin Federline, who performed on the show to less than rave reviews. Christina Milian and Kristen Bell were in the press room with us at the time, and they tactfully avoided any visible reaction to Federline’s song.

Cisco Adler did not accompany Mischa Barton, who took a best TV actress surfboard trophy. Sandra Bullock dragged her best-kisser partner Keanu Reeves into the press room, and he was his usual scruffy self, unshaven and sloppily dressed. But Reeves better watch his back; a sweaty Orlando Bloom, all decked out in a white undershirt, was a close second in the “needs a shower” category.

New York, August 9, 2006 – Jay-Z is the newest celebrity U.N. Ambassador, spreading the word about the world’s water crisis. MTV will follow him on his world tour, which kicks off on September 9 in Europe, and document the rapper’s visits to places affected by a lack of clean water. The film, The Diary of Jay-Z: Water for Life, will be broadcast on November 24.

Jay-Z made the announcement at a press conference on Wednesday. U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan said a few words, but had to leave early due to other pressing matters.

The part we don’t get is if Jay-Z will be on a world tour while visiting poor nations where, according to the U.N., 1.1 billion people live without clean water and billions more lack proper sanitation, can these people afford tickets to his concerts?

Los Angeles, August 5, 2006 – The Desperate Housewives gathered at Wisteria Lane on Saturday, but for once they weren’t plotting, spying or sleeping around. They were hosting a party to launch the series’ second season DVD, which producers promise is “Extra Juicy” and includes a "revealing unaired story line" and behind-the-scenes secrets.

One secret not divulged at Saturday’s bash was Marcia Cross’ whereabouts; she certainly was not at Wisteria Lane. Teri Hatcher made an appearance – literally: she arrived, walked the red carpet, then got back in her car and left.

These housewives were anything but frumpy in skintight dresses that revealed a lot – but no lumps. 43-year-old Felicity Huffman has a hot body to go along with her acting chops, and Brenda Strong has nothing to hide, at 46. Nicollette Sheridan is also 40-something and sporting curves only where she wants them, but we were too busy gawking at her engagement ring from Michael Bolton to pay attention to her hotness.

Along with her famous curves, Eva Longoria is going lighter with her hair color. Maybe the gardener likes blondes.

New York, July 31, 2006 – Do you see the sweeping views of Manhattan in the photos at left? No? That’s funny, because that’s the only possible reason for MTV to have held their VMA press conference at Top of the Rock, the rooftop observation deck at Rockefeller Center. And while the views are truly spectacular, being outdoors 70 stories up is decidedly less fabulous on one of the hottest days of the year. Everyone there was surprised that no one passed out during the press conference.

After Justin Timberlake and rapper T.I. each addressed the crowd, the 100-or-so journalists baking under the brutal sun groaned collectively when MTV President Christina Norman introduced Beyonce, but before bringing her out, insisted on first showing us a video montage of highlights of the star’s career on MTV. “You got to wait a minute”, Norman told the sweltering onlookers. Finally, Beyonce left the air-conditioned interior and took the stage for a moment.

Voting for the Video Music Awards categories is open to all, online, for the first time. The 2006 VMAs will be broadcast live on August 31, although the network has not yet selected a host for the show.

New York, July 27, 2006 – Johnny Depp drew one of the largest and most frenzied crowds of fans ever to David Letterman’s midtown Manhattan studios on Thursday. Several hundred people, some dressed as Depp’s character Edward Scissorhands, waited hours in the oppressive heat and humidity for a glimpse of the movie star. You may have seen Depp's gold teeth on the TV show, but insanity reigned outside.

Arriving only minutes before show time, Depp waved to the crowd, and indicated that he would sign autographs on his way out.

While the Pirates of the Caribbean star was taping the segment, one girl waiting outside got sick, and vomited, but refused to leave her front-row spot behind the police barricade. (The other fans around her also refused to move, but certainly wanted to.)

Another woman passed out, and an ambulance was summoned. EMS technicians attended to her and even poured water on her.

After the show, Depp walked all the way to the famed deli at the end of the street, which was closed to traffic, and then made his way back down the block, signing autographs for at least 20 minutes. The heat even got the best of cool Mr. Depp, and he pulled off his embroidered shirt.

When he finally left, we hear that seven cars full of professional autograph-seekers chased Depp to his posh hotel, where he drove around the block, leaving time for even more fans to gather around the hotel. It seems that someone in that crowd got hurt, and an ambulance was called.