New York, October 30, 2009 – “I think tonight is about all the greenery that Bette brings to the city, and then of course the cherry on the cake is Crosby, Stills and Nash, so it’s a Woodstock kind of night,” Michael Kors, costumed in full hippie regalia, told us at Bette Midler’s Hulaween Ball. 

Whoopi Goldberg kicked things off.  “You know, I have cats, so I don’t need to f--k with trees.  But I know people love to see them,” Whoopi told the dinner crowd.  Bette, whose costume was a “show ghoul”, said she was shocked that so many people showed up for the benefit.  “Because when I made my calls, so many people told me to go f--k myself,” she said before launching into her trademark foul-mouthed fundraising schtick, laced with songs and stand-up comedy. Midler made her way among the tables, embarrassing people into buying trees for the project.  Katie Couric, wearing a Kate Gosselin wig, pledged some money, but demanded in return that Midler sing a lullaby for her “eight children.”  Bette promptly launched into “If I Were a Rich Man.” 

CSN took the stage, and Graham Nash said, “I bought a $2,500 tree. Of course, the only plant David [Crosby] ever bought was some weed.”  The crowd sang along to Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, and by the time they did Teach Your Children – dedicated to Bette’s daughter, Sophie – everyone was dancing in the aisles.