New York, May 18, 2006 – Torrential rain interrupted the red carpet procession at Fox’s upfront party at Guastavino’s, and though we thought it was hilarious, Rupert Murdoch is rumored to be buying heaven, or at least acquiring a controlling share.

American Idol king Simon Cowell seemed to take the sudden downpour in stride, and he didn’t even make any disparaging remarks about his umbrella holder’s performance. (We got a bit nervous when Simon glared at the workmen trying in vain to sweep the rainwater away from the red carpet. Thankfully, he kept quiet, no doubt confused by the lack of viewer phone calls.)

Was all that jewelry hanging on Paula Abdul’s neck the stuff she’s hawking on TV? Couldn’t she borrow from Harry Winston like normal celebrities? Hey QVC, we propose a new feature: when Paula appears to sell her baubles, viewers get to phone in and rate her performance. There could be categories, like physical appearance, demeanor, sobriety, coherence and so forth. Now that would be fun! Shoppers can vote on the jewelry itself with their wallets.

Carrie Underwood, Kiefer Sutherland, Rebecca Gayheart, Victor Garber and Bones' David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel all risked frizzy hair to schmooze with advertisers