Los Angeles, May 21, 2006 – Madonna showed that she’s still ready shock us with her faux crucifixion, S&M gear and scantily dressed subservient male backup dancers at the Los Angeles launch of her “Confessions” tour.

But for someone expecting to gross almost $200 million on ticket sales as high as $375 per seat, Madge’s product placement radar was way off. She failed to hold her bottle correctly, so we couldn’t even tell which Kabbalah drink she was gulping. It had a dark color, so it wasn’t water. Anyone recognize that label? And we noticed there wasn’t a brand attached to that whip she was flailing around during the show. The children's book author could have donated product placement revenues to impoverished thrid world citizens, images of whom flashed on the big screen during the extravagant show. Or, you know, she could have put that money toward a new Kabbalah Center in some town where real estate is expensive.