New York, March 31, 2006 – Donald Trump called a last minute press conference Friday afternoon at Grand Central Station, where he announced that he’s breaking ground for a golf course in Scotland. Finally, those forbidding Scottish islands will begin to attain the sheen of Atlantic City. Donald did not wear a kilt, but apparently the Scots aren’t so thrilled about having their country developed and renamed Trump, and they staged a surprise invasion, taking over New York City for the week, and setting up a base camp at Grand Central Station. They’re calling it Tartan Week, Scotsman Alan Cumming announced, and toasted the campaign with Glenlivet. “I have to be on stage on Broadway in an hour. I’ll be kissing Cyndi Lauper with whiskey on my breath”, the actor said, triumphantly. Lauper is his costar in The Threepenny Opera. After Cumming left the stage and was preparing to exit, he happily downed the rest of the Scotch in his glass while no one was looking.