New York, October 13 – After atoning all day, we headed over to Chelsea and discovered how Gentiles celebrate Yom Kippur: with lunchboxes, auctions and cocktails. Yes, totally disproving the myth that Jews run the entertainment business, we found Naomi Campbell, Chris Martin, Bono, The Edge and Alicia Keys partying on the highest Jewish holiday, proudly showing off the lunchboxes they’d personally decorated, to be auctioned off for hunger relief. Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal were first to arrive and last to leave. Charlize Theron told us that Michael Stipe had asked her to participate. (Mike "Linda Richman" Myers must be at least an honorary Jew.) They broke the fast with organic food, that, to tell you the truth, was kind of bland, but after a few cocktails, it wasn’t bad at all.

Log onto www.thelunchboxauction.org and buy a lunchbox. You’ll be able to pass for Gentile, or at least carry it to synagogue.