New York, July 7 – Hoping to rile up outspoken left-leaning activist Tim Robbins at a screening of Anchorman, we asked if he’d read the previous day’s New York Post erroneously pronouncing John Kerry’s running mate. “No”, he said, sounding bored. “It had the wrong…”, we started. ”Yeah. It was funny”, he replied before we completed the sentence. And so the screening at the Museum of Television & Radio, featuring a Q & A with the film’s stars Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate and Paul Rudd, was fairly routine.

But then Gwyneth Paltrow set tongues wagging with some kind of peculiar markings across her back. Some theories tossed around: It’s the next hot cult – crop circles will be the new red string bracelets. The markings are from her alien lover (which might explain her newborn’s name! Apple = Susan in Martian.) Gwyneth is actually a robot, and these are the battery slots. Wearing a bathing suit with weird cutouts is a bad idea. Most likely, she just leaned against something icky on the subway.