December 8-9 – Matt Damon has dumped Ben Affleck for Greg Kinnear! OK, bad joke, but at least we refrained from telling you that they’re inseparable. The two play conjoined twins in the Farrelly brothers’ new film , Stuck on You. At the premiere at the Chelsea West Cinemas, the Farrelly brothers, who are not conjoined but otherwise seem to operate as a unit, told us that one of the reasons they selected Damon and Kinnear is that both are easy going and laid back, since being attached for three months isn’t easy. “On the days where we had the prosthetic – those are not our pale purple nipples and those are not our hairy backs - it was about twelve hours to get into, we stood side by side, and then we worked for five”, Kinnear said. We don’t want to contemplate bathroom breaks. Cher plays herself in the film, and the miraculously wrinkle-free one air kissed Meryl Streep, Lara Flynn Boyle and the Queer Eye guys at the premiere. Oh, and Matt Damon’s date was his mother.

They’re not conjoined, darn it, but Nicole Kidman and Jude Law play lovers in the Civil War drama Cold Mountain, which premiered the next night. Kidman said that being the romantic that she is, she sees it as a movie about love, “About two people who meet, fall in love, and make a pledge to each other.” Less romantic, mother-of-two Kidman said she'll spend the holidays "on an island, with my family". (So maybe she's staying at home on Manhattan island?) Law professed to be ignoring Oscar buzz, and is just proud of the film. Costars Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Natalie Portman both turned up for the premiere, but Renee Zellweger was reportedly in London and couldn’t make it.