July 20 - 22 - At the red carpet premiere of the movie Buffalo Soldiers, star Joaquin Phoenix didn’t want to talk to the press, he wanted to BE the press. He borrowed a camera and stood next to us behind the velvet rope. Phoenix: “I’ll wait for the director [Gregor Jordan] to come, I want to photograph him.” Open All Night: “What if he doesn’t stop?” JP: “We’ll get him at the hotel.” OAN: “Where is he, anyway? It’s getting late. You know what it is with these stars? They’re all pompous, they become successful, and they don’t think about people like us, who have to wait.” JP: “Yeah, they’re all like that.” OAN: “You’ll have to yell when he comes, to get him looking this way.” JP: But that’s what scares them away.” OAN: “But that’s what gets that look in their eyes.” Once director Jordan arrived, we instructed Phoenix as he snapped away: “You have to get head shots, get midriffs. Actors are like cattle, as Hitchcock said, you have to cut them up, head, midriffs, full-lengths.”

Danny DeVito and his wife Rhea Perlman, Stanley Tucci and Edie Falco, Jennifer Esposito and Ahsanti were all at the premiere of the movie Camp, but sadly, no one auditioned for our jobs.

Supermodels Amber Valetta, Kirsty Hume and Shalom Harlow spent Sunday hosting a tag sale to benefit the International Fund for Animal Welfare. On sale were clothes donated by big-name celebrities.

More supermodels: Bridget Hall, Heidi Klum and Ines Rivero roared up to a Manhattan Victoria’s Secret store on Harley Davidson motorcycles to introduce the new Rock Angel collection. Thankfully, this was at 9 A.M. What woman would try on bras with these three on the premises?