December 9 - A notorious gang took over a theater tonight, causing rowdy crowds and snarling traffic. Martin Scorsese was identified as the leader of the gang including Leonardo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Liam Neeson, Daniel Day-Lewis and Henry Thomas. Being initiated into the gang this evening were Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman, Naomi Campbell, David Bowie and wife Iman, Heidi Klum, Harvey Keitel, Edie Falco, Billy Joel, Bono and Natasha Richardson. This gang later rushed the New York Public Library for a wild party. Be alert, this gang will be infiltrating theaters around the world, and experts predict a major assault on March 23, 2003 at the Academy Awards.